Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Jumping jacks - my exercise enemy

Jumping jacks are my exercise enemy.
   I truly hate that classic calisthenics move that mimics making a snow angel, but standing up.
   Because I have big boobs!
   When I do jumping jacks, they whip up and down like a force unleashed, causing my bra straps to slip off my shoulders.
   And it hurts the poor things – for me, doing jumping jacks is literally a pain.
   I can handle jumping, as a few of the home workout DVDs I do require it. I can do these moves, such as doing a skiing motion from side to side, or setting up a basketball, because they are slower and more concentrated.
   Jumping jacks are simply too fast.
   I have liked or disliked workout creators on the basis of how they describe jumping jacks to their at-home exerciser followers.
   An extremely well-known and popular trainer, who shall remain nameless, instantly lost any future loyalty from me when she spoke on the subject on one of her best-selling DVDs.
   She said: “I have 400-pound people who can do jumping jacks. So can you.”
   No, I can’t, and I resent such an assumption!
   On the other hand, celebrity trainers such as Chalene Johnson and Bob Harper show excellent modifications to jumping jacks on their DVDs, allowing for low-impact versions.
   These trainers have won my long-term loyalty.
   So, celebrity trainers, never assume that your audience at home can do all the exercises in exactly the same way you do, and never use an exercise to shame someone as motivation.
   It simply doesn’t work.

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